Im Not Crazy Anymore

Get Yourself a “Crazy” Friend!

I’m just having a little fun with the word “crazy” because humor is sometimes the only way to deal with this stuff. When dealing with mental illness it’s important to have a support system. This means family, a significant other and perhaps close friends. While others can support you and listen, it’s really helpful to find yourself a friend or person that understands what you’re going through, and simply be available to listen when you need it.

This doesn’t have to be someone that you see regularly. If you have a friend that you chat with on Facebook or on message boards, consider becoming each other’s fallback. One thing that people with mental illness suffer with, especially those with bipolar disorder, is sudden shifts in moods and feelings. That can sometimes lead to extreme thoughts or actions. Being able to contact someone to vent or to tell that you’re having unsafe thoughts, can be invaluable.

While you should only take advice regarding medication from your doctor, there is nothing wrong with discussing how the medication has worked for each of you or any side effects to look for. Not only that, but you may get ideas as to the type of lifestyle changes that might be good for you.

It just helps to know that someone else has your back and understands what you are feeling. If you feel comfortable, perhaps exchange cell phone numbers and email. That way if one of you has a tough night and the other is worried, you can text each other.

So, neither of you are crazy. But sometimes, you likely feel crazy. That’s okay. When you are able to commiserate with someone else you will feel less alone.

Who Am I and Where Did I Go?

One of the most difficult things to deal with as you navigate the world of mental illness is thinking about what you have left behind and what lies ahead. For many people, things such as a career or livelihood helped define us, for better or worse. It may even just be a hobby or activity that you once did that you’ve had to give up. It can be difficult to figure out what happened to the old you and what to do with the new you.

As you move forward with your illness, it can be really sad to look back. That is the case for me. I was a strong, independent woman, a single parent that obtained a college degree and ended up in an enjoyable career. That all ended with the onset of bipolar disorder. It was as though someone flipped a switch and I became someone else.

It’s been two years and here I am. I’m actually a freelance writer and work from home. There are days that I cannot work and some days that I go along okay. I don’t make near what I did before, I’m no longer as independent as I once was, as I’m not the main breadwinner here. Luckily, I am not on my own anymore and that does make things easier.

I look on in envy at the career women I see around me. Sure, I’m still a career woman, but I am really wistful about my former life. Sometimes it seems so surreal that I’m not that person anymore. The way that I look and behave in the world has changed.

I often do wonder who exactly I am and where did that other person go? I try not to ruminate on it but if I’m being honest, I really truly miss her.

The Bond with a Therapist can be Surprisingly Strong

Something that people don’t often talk about, mostly because people don’t often talk about having a therapist, is that the relationship can be an extremely strong one. This often depends on the personality of both people, and the type of therapy. Something like DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and psychotherapy can especially lead to this closeness.

Both psychotherapy and DBT therapy often touch on exploring painful experiences in childhood, especially psychotherapy. DBT is common as a treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder and as many have had to deal with childhood trauma (not all, but many) that therapy can form a bond between therapist and patient.

If you are lucky enough to find a therapist that you click with, you have to stop seeing them, such as your therapist moving or you moving or changing insurance, it can feel like the end of a relationship. Not only that but there can be confusing thoughts and feelings as it may feel like the end of a dating relationship.

When you are looking or working with a new therapist, keep in mind that it’s okay if one doesn’t work for you. When you started looking for therapists initially, you may not have just chosen the first one that you talked to. There is no use going to therapy if it’s not a match for you. It just won’t be as effective as it should be.

Starting with a new therapist is difficult, if you are still in need of ongoing treatment. It’s good to give it a shot. Just try and take the lessons that you learned with you.

Why Therapy is Important

Often people talk about the importance of therapy for depression and anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT seems to be the gold standard for those particular issues. Of course, there are other options such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and psychotherapy for other illnesses. While those suffering from mental illness certainly hear about taking meds and seeing a psychiatrist, I don’t see as much about getting therapy. It’s important and here is why.

First of all, there are different forms of mental illness, including brain based ones such as Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia and personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder. I would say that those with personality disorders should in DBT therapy, which is helpful for many but especially those with personality disorders.

For those with Bipolar disorder, therapy is crucial as well. The reason is that learning how to manage mood episodes and get yourself on a sleep schedule is key to managing the disorder. For me, working with a great therapist and doing a mix of DBT and CBT therapy fixed my lifelong issues with insomnia, even when having mood episodes.

If you don’t have insurance, you could be having a tough time paying for psychiatrist appointments, which are crucial, especially for those with mood disorders. It’s hard to consider spending any money on therapy but it is well worth it. Look into local community health clinics, especially if you’re on a fixed income. They charge on a sliding scale. I had incredibly good luck finding an amazing therapist at a community mental health clinic.

Therapy, whatever kind that you choose, can help you at least feel in control of your mental illness. Sometimes that feeling of control, or even being able to control even small amounts of your life is valuable.

Exercise is Medicine

Exercise and physical fitness in general is crucial for everyone. That is especially the case for those with mental health issues. A disclaimer here is that I’m not saying that people with mental illness will exercise and be cured. That kind of talk is dangerous and just incorrect.

People with mental illness, whether it’s bipolar disorder or something else, need to take medication. That’s just how it goes. However, incorporating physical exercise, one that I love, has done wonders for my own mental health.

I spent my childhood in the water. It is my happy place. For me, regular swimming is a form of medicine. With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I haven’t been able to get to the pool as much as I like and I can really feel the difference in my mood.

When I’m agitated or just feeling low mood wise, I head over to the pool for a swim. The smell of chlorine, the warm water – all of it just make me feel wonderful. I work out my thoughts in the quiet still of the water. When I’m done, I always feel so much more at peace.

It’s important to find something that you enjoy doing if possible. Biking and hiking are other fun activities to try. Everyone is different and it may take trial and error to find what gets you in that happy place. Another benefit of regular fitness is to counteract some of the weight gain that often comes along with the medications that you take.

Find something that you love and try to do it at least once per week. Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t meet this goal. Just do your best and accept that things will not always go as you plan.

New Year’s Resolutions: Bad Idea for Those with Bipolar Disorder

As we begin the New Year, it’s the time when people start making New Year’s Resolutions. I admire people that can make resolutions and feel confident about them. For most people ,not meeting those resolutions will not make or break them. For those suffering with Bipolar disorder, that may not be the case. It can wreak havoc with your self-esteem and cause a lot of unnecessary suffering.

There is a lot of variety in what people experience with Bipolar disorder. One aspect that others don’t understand is that it has so much more to do with mood. Sure, mood is a huge part of it. The fragile self-esteem that bipolar people can face can make or break them. The fact is that daily life is a huge struggle and that can lead to feelings of failure, especially if you are unable to have a career or manage many small things in daily life.

New Year’s resolutions put pressure on you, unneeded pressure. Even if you are relatively stable on medication, that pressure can swing you into depression and self-loathing. That feeling of failure will just lead to you being less productive. It’s a vicious cycle.

The fact is, those of us with Bipolar are not like everyone else and will not be like everyone else. Bipolar disorder is out of our control. We can tame it with medication and therapy but we will never truly “control” it. New Year’s resolutions are about control and that is where we run into trouble.

Start by making micro goals or goals to meet in six months’ time. Don’t set a hard, arbitrary date. When you wake up in the morning, make your goals based on how you are feeling for that day. Take small steps and just go day by day. One day the goal may be to get out of the house for a walk, while another day it might be to workout.

We are not failures. Just getting through each and every day is an accomplishment. Throw out the idea of grand New Year’s Eve resolutions. Just resolve to be easy on yourself.

Eliminating the Stigma of Mental Illness: Be Open and Live Your Life

There are a lot of different ways to eliminate the stigma of mental illness. Not everyone can spend the time or is able to spend the time to work in advocacy or campaign for the eradication of mental illness stigma. There is one way that you can easily fight stigma – be open and live your life.

People with mental illness, such as bipolar disorder, are in different stages of the illness and in recovery. Even if you are in a rough spot, it is still beneficial to be open to others about your illness and how you are working to treat it.

Just the fact that you speak about it, just as you would a physical illness, shows people that it is as legitimate as any other illness and nothing that you need to hide from anyone. It’s true that you may have to conceal things a bit at work. Sadly, you may be viewed as a liability as people are just not as enlightened as they should be. But, that doesn’t mean that you have to hide it in the rest of your life.

Once you are feeling stable, discuss what you have gone through and how you care for yourself. People talk about how they manage their diabetes, right? Why is your illness any different?

You may worry that people think that you’re crazy – who cares? It is just a fast way to eliminate the people in your life that are not supportive. The best way to illustrate that people with mental illness can have a job or career, be parents and just product in general, is to tell and show them. Show them that not everyone that suffers from mental illness fits the stereotype that is set forth in the media.

Better Living Through Mood Stabilizers

"Some common side effects associated with mood stabilizers are weight gain, life threatening rash (Lamictal only), vision changes and blackouts."

When discussing depression, anxiety or mental illness, the discussion often centers around antidepressants. While antidepressants are commonly used for many conditions, those that suffer from bipolar disorder may not handle them well without a mood stabilizer. Some cannot take them at all. Mood stabilizers may also be used with antipsychotic medications.

What Are Mood Stabilizers?

Mood stabilizers in general are used to make nerve cells in your brain less excitable. This typically means that you will have fewer mood swings, such as depression and mania. There is some ambiguity as to how they work on the brain. However, it is clear that they do work.

Types

Lithium was one of the first mood stabilizers that was approved by the FDA. It is best suited to bipolar I disorder. It is still commonly used to this day. Lithium can be tricky as you must visit the doctor regularly so that they can test the levels in your blood.

Anticonvulsant medication has typically been used to treat people that have seizures. Doctors discovered that they also work as mood stabilizers. This is especially the case for people suffering from bipolar II disorder. Two of the most commonly used are Lamictal and Depakote. Lamictal is one of the most effective in the treatment of Bipolar disorder and tends to have fewer side effects. Results vary from person to person.

Side Effects

Honestly, there are too many side effects to list. Each medication has different side effects. Some common side effects associated with mood stabilizers are weight gain, life threatening rash (Lamictal only), vision changes and blackouts. One issue with mood stabilizers is that they interact with a whole slew of other medicines, including allergy pills and cold medicine. You must be careful. Even if the interaction is not listed or is recognized by the national poison control, you may still have a reaction.